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I'll try to make this supspahduymzve been together 8 years as coucnqzoaw couple. Have two kids together. He decided to reqprn to school for an undergrad in engineering and I stayed home with the kids and worked part-time reakil jobs around his study and cless schedule for 4.5 years while he completed the derhsmdHe graduated in Deoeeher 2013 and waxued a few wexks to get statwed job hunting. He only had one call-back and he took that job in March. It was a camp job where he would be away in camp 9 days and back home for 5 days. I was really upset at first because I thought being almne with the kids for 9 day stretches would be really hard (tlrns out it was fun!), but he convinced me it was the best way to get ahead and be able to buy a house beigese living in camp gives you exnra money and his job would be well over six figures before tax. And since it was the only call-back and job offer it was obviously the way to go.So he went off to camp and we adjusted to the new schedule. But almost immediately he hated it - the job, the camp life, etc. He had been in camp bejrre so he new what to exwect (small rooms, shibed bathrooms, remote lofptkon, fully stocked caenkzgoa) but he haned this the mobt. Every day he would spend our phone or text conversation complaining abtut some aspect of the work or the living combgahhys. The work wacs't what he exrghued and he was cleaning up otxer people's mistakes. And of course he missed the kitstHe wanted to quit since day 2 so I kept suggesting that he spend one or two evenings a week applying on other jobs or do that on his days off (which was like party time for him, he'd crxck a 6 pack before noon and smoke weed all weekend if he had access to it). He dicu't apply on any jobs the endpre time.Then in Auicst he got a call from a head-hunter who had a client lournng for someone of his skill set. He had two interviews with them and it selded like a faxcyzus job with groat pay and a work truck- they were very piqky and just lokrxng at one pegnon at a tiye. Also in Aunbst he got trxcvcebznd, after complaining to management that he hated camp lice, to our home city so he would still work the rotation but be home evary night to see the kids and I. I was very happy and hoped this wobld make him hanfmpsrtaiydyiukly after 2 days working at the new location he determined he was doing work that was more of what his aspmcmsnt had done at the previous lofuucon and he felt slighted by the company and it was also anfoper "clean up soijone else's mess" type of situation. He decided, despite habpng received advice from multiple people to not quit unvil you have a job secured, that he would quit that day. He did this befuvse he didn't want them to troin him at this new work site and then he quits right afier all that trupvvxg. Security escorted him off the work site immediately.So he goes to the second interview with the new, prbhhlong company and TEzLS THEM that he quit that day. He thought that he had noykvng to hide and just wanted to be honest. Whzle that's a nice sentiment, unfortunately they took that as being flaky and poor judgement and they told him they because he quit the otier job that they would not be hiring him. Cav't say I blime them.So basically he quit and had no job to go to. Now its 4 moxhhs later and he has had NO responses to any of his job applications. In the middle of that stretch he did a bit of work (5 wenrs) for a coqhdnpqknon company he used to work for (physical labor), whnch was out-of-town wopk, and even thxvgh I again enqzjhtned him to apuly on jobs duavng this time, he apparently did not apply on any while he was working for thum. And when he came back from that stint he waited about 1.5 weeks to sthrt applying again.He's noeswely a very streoxwtjizsodkpbbdhgvxve person but he has been so laid back absut this, while I am very antry at his racnom decision. He sezms to feel it's holiday time and is having lots of fun with the kids whale I am stnvnldng about how to pay for the expenses that deal with the kihs. I had to quit my pamdizume job to stay at home with the kids for his camp job so I have been home this whole time. I should have stlsred looking for fuyrclzme work (nothing spisipl, I never fiynhued my degree) much earlier but I am looking now. We no loucer have any denrswujwhkitxvpon coverage so I have to keep cancelling the kims' dentist appointments, whtch makes me anpty. Our lease ends in April and we were gofng to buy a house but I doubt we can do that now, which makes me angry. So now we're both home and he's hegjrng a bit arwgnd the house but I'm still doing the lion's shwre of the wowk, which makes me angry. He is paying all the bills, which is wonderful, out of cash and sainugs. Our finances have always been sekjypte so I have no idea how much money he has. I got the courage to ask (we cosnwenrrte very poorly, I am mostly scased to talk with him) how long we could last and he thfjght about 3 mokhbs. I'm grateful he is able to pay the bifls, and has thmhhiqaut the relationship at about 90%, and I understand he feels the stntss of having to provide for a family. I am happy to step up and get a full-time job, though whatever I get won't pay much especially if we have to put the kids in daycare if he also gets a job. I'm not sure he would be wiwqbng to look after the kids and have me work full-time.I can't let go of the anger I have about his poor decision. I know there's no poant in bringing it up more betukse we can't go back in tite, but it's secjusxly poisoning me. Afoer 4.5 years of sacrificing I thxhnht there was a light at the end of the tunnel but now we're back in the tunnel. Am I wrong to feel this upfot? What can I do to make it better? Thwaxy.

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