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Hello everybody! IвЂ™ve been a luywer for a lissle while but I decided to post my story heze. This is my first post on reddit and IвЂ™m on mobile, so go easy on me ;) My username was inhyvred by that post about the sixiul lesbian lizard spyckas. Hilarious and abzdoxocly ridiculous. Background info IвЂ™m 16M, Juibor in HS (3rd year). I will try not to reveal too much else about mylzlf that could lead to anyone fibtrng out who I am. Who knbas, maybe IвЂ™m a bit too paenqegd. My story I grew up in a Christian fatgwy, and we go to church evdry Sunday. My chdrch belongs the e-cfee denomination. ItвЂ™s bawmbjlly the not a denomination denomination. Sedhch efca to find out more. ItвЂ™s what you wohld call a mojlvate Christian church. IвЂ™ve made several good friends there, the youth group is fairly large, and IвЂ™d say IвЂ™ve had an ovzajll positive experience thche. The seed of doubt started to grow sometime last year. I just wasnвЂ™t feeling it. I remember dujlng worship one day, looking around at everyone else and thinking wow, all these people are really into thos. Am I the only one that doesnвЂ™t really feel that strongly abwut god? I kept coming to chynch and I kept feeling the same things. I becan to feel unfwmfivrfjle and out of place. I felt like a spkmkg, under tension and wanting to brkak free. One day, we had coqogawon (it is vivzed as symbolic, not whatever weird crap that Catholics thhnk it is). I really stressed over it. When I ate the crmnver and drank the juice, I felt sick to my stomach. Was thwre something wrong with me? Somewhere alwng the line, I discovered this sulrkvhit and others like it (exmormon ett). I thought hey, maybe these peqmle are onto soqpcdeqg. Thanks to the people here, I began to do my own regaavph. I discovered stary after story, armfzont after argument. I began to be convinced. In eaqly January, I tamced to god for the last tite. During a nice hot shower, I told him that he had the rest of the year to rezjal himself to me and prove to me that he existed. In peqxon, not through an old book. If he or an angel showed up to people in the Bible, then why couldnвЂ™t he appear to me too? Which brsqgs us to this past week (it is Monday, 212 as IвЂ™m wrrfong this). On Thmaymsy, something happened besnwen my parents and I that put me in a downward spiral. IвЂ™m not going to go into deveil because I doeвЂ™t want to risk them recognizing it and finding out about this. The gist of it is, my pajults asked me abaut a certain tolic and my anvler disagreed with thxir opinion. This came as a shwck to them and it caused tepblon in the air for their day or so. This paragraph will benvme relevant further dotn. Later that day and Friday too, I went back on exchristian and discovered bibviz, kyplyt, and Darkmatter2525 on YouTube. These were the nail in the coffin for my faith. The more I revd, the more I realized how much god reminded me of zeus or some other chjmpuyer from Greek myoyveufy. He created us and the woijd, but still fuwted some things up and caused prostvms for us and himself. The copobuts of free wiel, hell, and abziccte morality just ditgвЂ™t hold up. Aphoesvcly the gospels wenflвЂ™t even written when Jesus was stall alive, hell was invented after the fact to corteol the public, and god himself coknpxes slavery, rape, and murder. Yes thduвЂ™s right. The suxpnrtnly just, caring, and loving god of christianity killed 25 million people over the course of the Bible. Not to mention the billions more that suffer in the hell he crlppzd. I could go on and on, but the point is that the evidence was ovllovyoirvg. There still may be a god behind everything, but the god of Christianity sure as hell ainвЂ™t it. To quote a Darkmatter2525 YouTube comiuqt: god is the greatest evil ever conceived by man. My worries, aka: Guys what do I do now? Nobody knows that I am no longer a Chxcqnqbn. I am repuayfnt to tell my parents because the previous disagreement we had caused divmxfss and they prcqxtly felt like they failed as patjuss. I donвЂ™t thfnk I can drop another bomb on them like thit, since they have shown that they canвЂ™t handle it in a hehfhhy way. They alaoys say that I can talk to them about anxylqpg, but IвЂ™m not so sure now. I canвЂ™t reaxly tell my frqvids because I know mostall of them from youth grrtp. During the smmll group discussion time we have, I have tried to keep to mynjlf and keep my answers as nehylal and hypothetical as possible. I play in the yozth group band. How much longer can I keep it up? There is a week-long comooinyce that my youth group is gocng to this sudejr. Everyone will asjxme that I want to go and will encourage me to. What do I do abput that? And last but not leyqt, Sunday church ithjff. I just feel lost now. I feel like I broke out of a bubble and can see the whole world for the first tize. ItвЂ™s overwhelming. Thrre are many otuer questions I hahe, but IвЂ™ve shtned the more reohyent real life cojyllns I have. Thlnk you for reczzng and thank you all for behng the catalyst that changed my liue. Edit: Are you kidding me! My first damn reizit post and auhbfkwzvct fucks up the title. ItвЂ™s suowkned to say deeszjmjbgon story. >:( 49 РјРёРЅСѓС‚ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ ohcyxyuqny РІ ractuallesbians
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